The Bidet Encounter

For the anonymity of parties involved, the names of people and places may have been altered.

On an undisclosed day, at an undisclosed cafe, a young woman by the name of... Bernadette... Yeah, Bernadette, needed to use the restroom to wash her hands before lunch was served. Upon entering the small single size restroom, Bernadette began to wash her hands when something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. The toilet.

Along one side of the toilet, little pin sized lights were blinking away, just calling for her immediate attention. Now, Bernadette isn't stupid, she knew just looking at the thing that she was definitely dealing with a bidet here. The trouble was, Bernadette had never been in the presence of a bidet before and that, paired with her often uncontrollable curiosity, was a recipe for trouble.

'Just one little push of a button, what harm could that possibly cause?', Bernadette thought to herself as the buttons continued to blink away. 'Well, I clearly can't read Korean yet to know what this one says, but the little icon next to it looks like it may be some kind of heating effect... I'll push that one! Here goes nothing... Oh look, something is moving. Oh please, please, don't do what I think you're goin... AAAHHHHHH, no, no, no!'

At this point, blazing hot water began to spray from a little tube with such remarkable force that, after narrowly missing Bernadette's nose, it began to spray the wall nearly four feet away... In utter panic, she began to press the button again and again, hoping it would stop but to no avail. Button after button she made every attempt to remedy her actions as the water quickly began to puddle at her feet. But still, this machine of witchcraft was not showing any signs of stopping anytime soon. 'I'll close the lid! Brilliant idea,' she
thought! But the water only hit the lid and seeped out the cracks. 'Seriously? You've got to be kidding me,' Bernadette fumed.

Finally, a stroke of genius came to her! Bernadette followed the cord coming from the bidet to the power outlet and quickly pulled the plug on this nightmare.

Now, as Bernadette's shoes slopped around in a large puddle of water, she faced the challenge of cleaning up her silly mess. To spare our thousands of readers on the details of this, let's just say that it took an ample amount of paper towels and a little creativity before Bernadette was able to quietly exit the restroom and return to her table. Fortunately for her, nobody was anxiously awaiting their turn.

All and all, a lesson was learned.

The common bidet.